Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I'm wasting my life away

It seems I can't open an issue of Bike Mag these days without seeing my name. Only this time I'm getting bad press. I just got called out by some guy named Mark Forster from Lincoln Nebraska....... A few moths ago I sat down and hammered out a pithy letter to Bike Mag thinking it would be cool to make it into their letters to the editor section. Here's a quick synopsis of my letter; Your magazine has filled my head with useless information because I lack the time and resources to own the most expensive bikes and travel to the most exotic locations, however I enjoy the escape it provides, keep up the good work. Much to my surprise, My letter was prominently displayed 2 months later as the letter of the month. On top of the warm fuzzies I received by just seeing my letter, Bike Mag also sent me some super cool Dakine bags (3 in all). Now Mark comes along and hates all over my parade. Apparently Mark's life is suitable for a biographical entry into Oprah's book club. Something about breaking his back, learning Tae Kwon Do and then building his first wheel from scratch, blah blah blah. I barely got through the whole letter because his life-story made me a bit weepy. The point of his letter wasn't just to tell us how great he was but actually to tell the world that I am "the least goal-oriented person he's ever heard of". According to Mark, it's more than just me with this problem. I actually have minions that follow in my unmotivated footsteps. He refers to us as "Caseyites".
Well Mark, your inspirational words have not been wasted on me and my followers. Your remarkable life has hit me like a cattle prod from heaven and I am now publicly calling on all of the "Caseyites" to join me in reclaiming our wasted lives. The time for action is now. Step one: inform your wife that this Friday will be the last day you collect a paycheck. Occasionally you might see a cash prize from a race, (unlikely though, seeing as you're an average rider at best) but other than that, money will soon become a little scarce. No worries though, because your parents are going to assume custody of your kids so that we can move into a commune with other bikers dedicated to the teachings of Mark. Together we can "start focusing on what we want and not what we don't have." (Mark 1:16) Amen! I'm sure that with this new outlook I will achieve many great things. None of which will have anything to do with being a good husband, good father or a dedicated employee. From here on out it's all about fulfilling my own selfish desires baby..........Does anyone know a good Tae Kwon Do instructor?
By the way, there is one thing that I know I will never want for because I already own it in abundance, Dakine back-packs. Hey Mark what'd you get for your letter?

3 comments:

A.B. said...

Caseyites, huh? Sign me up!

TheProfessor said...

Once again the humor of Lumpy confuses people. First, it was a certain member of Foundations. Secondly, it was Dr. Hayes at UNO. Now Lumpy has confused people worlwide. All I can say is . . . pass the salted nuts.

jc4300 said...

Reminds me of something else I came across this week. The father/son Team Hoyt was brought to my attention, and they are super inspirational. They are examples of a "can do" spirit.

I read a post of someone who found them to be a personal inspiration. They recounted getting into an accident that left them with a temporarily disabling injury, weeks before a triathlon or some such. They then, based on 'inspiration' from the father/son Team Hoyt, decided they would continue to do the event, and trained very hard for the period of time leading up to the event. They then pushed through the pain and finished the race. They say Team Hoyt inspired them to complete the event.

Then afterwards, they said once they had finished that, then they would try to focus on be a better dad, person, etc.

So this person pushed their family aside for weeks (possibly a few months) to be able to do a personal accomplishment of finishing this event.

I wonder, did this person entirely miss the point of Team Hoyt? The father didn't like running. He did it for his son, not for himself. He did it out of sacrificial love for his family, to spend more time with his son, to pour into his son's life, not his own.

I enjoy MTB because it is good exercise, it is fun, and I enjoy the comradery of riding with a group of friends. However it is only a hobby, not my main passion or 'who I am'. At the end of my life, what would winning every MTB race gain me? At the end, would I be satisfied with a shelf-full of #1's, if I viewed my relationships with friends and family as expendable for the sake of the next good ride? Would that be a worthwhile legacy? Or would I have missed the point?

I hope Mark doesn't miss the bigger point of the ride we call life.